Chapter Summary:

What is The Struggle?

Tests, Allies, Enemies (Talents Requiring Cultivation) (trine)

Eternal Trails/ Facing the Shadow (Approaching the Inmost Cave) (inconjunct/opposition

Supreme Ordeals (opposition/inconjunct)

Rewards/ Ultimate Treasures (Seizing the Sword) (trine)

And what is the struggle? it’s always a case of holding onto love, despite what outside appearances are showing you. In my case it had to do with all my opposites. Elders/Olders (family and society) to my Younger. Male to my Female (first love experiences) and White to my Black. These things usually happen in cycles to see if we really have learned our lessons and that is why astrology is so important.

As a youth, and a eight of clubs I didn’t grow up thinking elders had it all together. I saw them as immature, getting in the way of my progress, fighting and complaining leaving no good role model and bruised and hurt by this. I guess most elders looked at me as needing direction, disrespectful, not understood, and the cause of their pain and broken heart. Isn’t that ironic?

Unlike a lot of women I didn’t grow up thinking men were superior, GOD the most powerful sex. Instead, I thought them driven by their ego, only thinking about sex, xyz. I guess the same was men looked at me as a woman as inferior, lower intellegence, the cause of man’s fall, to be controlled, etc. Isn’t that ironic?

Unlike a lot of older generation and church going and mind taken Black folks, I didn’t grow up think white people were alright. I thought them deformed, a mutant, an apparation, spiritual inept. I guess the same way many whites looked at me as black as a monkey, inferior, lower natured and ignorant. Isn’t that ironic?

The struggle to love my elders

Parents

Teachers and Leaders- source of my greatest pain

college and alkebu-lan sisters

working at metaphyical bookstore

ausar auset society and research

Giving up my Art in the Name of Revolution

The struggle to love males

Being a Female concerned with the things Power and Love. It was through males that I learned how to not make the love of power be more important than the power of love. And yet and still this is the journey we all take., I learned via men how to act with mine. Being a woman concerned with love I learned how to do so more unconditional with men. These things usually happen in cycles to see if we really have learned our lessons and that is why astrology is so important

First Fool- I was intimate-4 F’s

First Love-Choosing Self

First Financal Entrapment

Explain the choices women make to settle. For finances, for persistence, for anything but the passion of true love.

First Infactuation

learned that I attracted men that couldn’t commit, because I wasn’t fully committed to me and growing my power to give love and not just receive love. My higher destinu

If I would have known what I know now, maybe we would have had a chance, maybe not. But everytime I learned to love unconditionally and from the heart with wisdom and intellegence, I grew stronger

First Marriage?

up to this point a virgin and the first time wasn’t great. Too many expectations. But like X says in the matrix everybody falls the first time. For the first time the Sagg. who genrally doesn’t like ugly. thinking fighting is below her, learned how to embrace it with a venagance. This was a necessary part in my development. Here you have the Lion and his pride and the Queen bee and her drones analogy. Although we were attracted to each other’s strength, there is no way you make a lion a drone and a queen bee and pride member. So this is the process of mas. and fem. principles finding balance. And everyone falls the first time. It’s just important to hold onto love, because whatever we do out of that broke heart (especially when children are involved) causes repercussions that can last a lifetime. This is a shout out to all my brothers and sisters that chose to let love go, it’s not too late to return to love, because it is your essential nature.

The struggle to love whites

Jeff story

Florence Story (after being with Afrocentrics)

remember the first effects of hate in body

IICD story

story of Ann’s experience & whites feelings about history

exposed to Ashra Kwesi and Dr. Ani & their response

Politician card keep choosing until I learned to accept them

Astrological Institute

University of Creation Spirituality

many issues with race before I got there

what happened when I got there

my refusal to be the token black (Alex Gray and MLK event coordination)

Experience planning Women’s Event

Attitudinal Healing: Aeeshah/ Mariann Williamson/Couple

what they shared with me and book on racism

Himilayan Institute

Racism/Ageism: Part of AA society, was doing a research design for IICD at GSU, where Asa Hillard helped me, anyway, I was sharing my work with the group because the leader was there. He was condescending of my project, saying we already know how white folks are/ then I noticed how the rest in the group treated me/ even my roommate questioned me when they read my rd saying the cia and fbi will come looking for you/ my white classmates and teacher were annoyed by it- had to get Asa Hillard. Yet, all it was my attempt to go beyond the veil and reach the truth. I am glad I did because the experience was the beginning of a marvelous revelation and it is true that the enemy is the innerme. In every situation, whether it be race, sex, ageism. In this case,