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Chapter 8: The Five Most Important Questions

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Chapter 8 The Five Most Important Questions

Chapter Summary:

I want to share short analogical answers to the five most important questions that serve as the foundation to the Bellony Theory.

  1. What is Love?
    That’s easy. It’s All There Is, or rather All potential(Everything). And it’s All Nothing. Love is the Primordial substance that births All G.O.Ds. All sentient beings are g.o.d.s of their own realm, but it was the primary electric G.O.D. of All That Is that created the conditions for everything in existence.

In the individuated world, the world of form and ultimately the illusion of separation, Love then becomes the magnetic movement or process that returns all things in creation to its source or essential Primordial nature of no-thing.

  1. What is the Purpose of Love’s Movement or Process?
    To motivate and guide an unexperienced g.od./parent to eventually become an experienced g.o.d/parent. Parenthood is the holographic equivalent to Planethood of which I’ll later explain. I will be coming back to this analogy often, for it serves as a foundation to share concepts we all can relate to. Remember, this is a holographic universe and the most complex things can be explained in the most simple things.
  2. Who or What is G.O.D?
    The Generator, Operator and Destroyer of All that Is. G.O.D is the beginning of cycles within cycles. The holographic/fractal universe. Here is where time and space come into being. Time creates the need for cycles and space creates the need for form and both eventually create the belief in the illusion of separation; which, as a secondary result, creates what some call suffering. That being degeneration, birth, death, and rebirth and mortality.
  3. What is the Purpose of G.O.D’s Constant Cycles?
    All of G.O.D’s cycles are essentially doing one of two things. They are either ascending, spiraling upward toward LOVE, or they are descending, spiraling downward away from LOVE. Both of these movements are essential for G.O.D, birthed from the belly of Primordial substance, to experience Itself through Its Creation.

In the word evol-ution, you have love, as in moving toward love. In the word devol-ution we have loved, as in “been there, done that.” The biggest mistake in our collective perception is to believe that one of these processes can exist without the other. Another big mistake in our collective perception is to think that we can’t first of all choose and second of all, choose again after whatever cycle we’ve created for ourselves runs it’s course. (Also the concept that Heaven is more important than Earth-(i.e.- you have the heavens, demons in heaven, dark spirits, etc??)

Harmony between these two processes is perceived for most as the epitome of GOOD, which translates into the archetype of God or the Truth. Disharmony between these two processes is perceived for most as the epitome of EVIL, which translates into the archetype of the Devil or a Falsehood.

Here comes the tricky part. There is no such thing as Good and Evil, in and of themselves. Both serve as two sides to the same coin (or better yet, mathematical formula) that allows G.O.D to experience Itself through It’s creation. For how would G.O.D. know what was good, if It didn’t also create it’s opposite? Would any story ever be great or interesting without a villain or obstacle to overcome? The bigger the villain or obstacle the greater the story right?

So, as the title of this book suggests, it’s not about being All Good, it’s about being ALL G.O.D. and that only comes when we’ve released the illusion of separation that is at the root of all subsequent, secondary devilish actions. The Devil is essentially what all G.O.Ds become when they believe in the lie of separation, and Evil or Hell is what they manifest for everything within their domain or kingdom.

I jokingly like to say that the devil may be in the details, but G.O.D is in the paradox. I say jokingly because the so-called devil is still part of G.O.D, but it’s that aspect of G.O.D that is the catalyst that starts the destruction or change needed that brings us back to love, the primordial substance, so we can create or choose again!

I’d like to share the analogy of looking at a falling star through a telescope. It’s beautiful and amazing to see falling stars isn’t it? Yet for the life involved in that phenomena it’s sure and utter mayhem!

The reason why we see anyone or anything as good or bad, favorable or unfavorable is because of our perceptions, which therefore creates our direct experiences, not the other way around. Most of our perceptions are inherited from what came before us, that which created us, or more tangibly, our parents. It’s inevitable to do this, until we gain our own perspective, as we grow to adulthood.

As a collective human consciousness, that is what is happening, we are coming of age, and all the negatively perceived things our parents, other people and powers of authority did knowingly or unknowingly, will have no power to thwart our success once we wake up to our soul essence self and decide to take responsibility and choose again. We’ve reached that point in our creative collective cycle. Will we be likened to the 18 yr. old child, now considered an adult, that says I don’t have to choose like my parents, I can realize that soul essence within me, heal the perception of separation and duality and begin to choose again, towards love? Or will we be likened to a 30 year old living at our parents as the issue without seeing it in himself, therefore creating a reality that blames the society for all the woes in the world? The choice is ours.

  1. What is Our Role?
    When I say “our” role, I’m talking about all differentiated life forms of individualized consciousness, that have primordial substance at their core, making them capable of creation in their own image. As you know, there are many different levels of individualized consciousness.

As humans, we create many things for many reasons, but it is only our children that have OUR essence (bloodline), that can then create life after it’s own. A vacuum cleaner can’t do it and neither can a lawn mover. Since trees and animals can also create after their own, they are also included here as part of our Earth family.

So what is our role? It’s to serve as a vessel for the G.O.D that created US to know Itself from direct experience. And consequently, for us as human g.o.d’s to create and to thus know ourselves directly through our creation as well. (That’s why when we have children-they tell us everything about ourselves as creators-good or bad).There is a third role, of which I’ll talk more about in another chapter, as that is to serve as a proxy in the healing or hurting process for future generations and experiences in other parallel universes, depending on how we choose.

So in essence, love is what we are at the core of our being, and we came to express our essential nature as a conscious co-creator or g.o.d, in cycles and cycles.

Watching a Movie Analogy:
Let’s say you have the day off to just relax, and you want to make it a movie day. Why do you want to watch movies today, instead of meditating? For just the pure enjoyment of it. Who needs a reason anyway. What movies did you buy, well let’s say you bought the new movie the history of the planet earth and the history of our the solar system and the history of the star systems Orion and Sirius., You never before watched these movies from this up and coming film producer. You’ve watched the history of the Earth version that your religious institution put together back in 2000 and you saw another version that the college alumni did that was pretty good too. So you choose Earth History as the first movie for the day. Your curious to watch this version because you haven’t seen the previews, but since you live here on earth, you have an idea of what the plot might be. Now, you’ve popped some popcorn, made a big cup of hot chocolate and you’re ready to rip in and enjoy the show.

At first, on Earth, you had a body of matter without individual consciousness, just particles with no life forms capable of individuated thought. Eventually through the rays of the sun, life began to form. As this life continued to develop and expand via the light rays coming down, the interchange was there not only with humans, but with everything. Earth’s waters were rising to the heavens via condensation. So here is where the evolution and devolution process first begins. Yet, just as over time, via the interchange of energy of the sun and earth had conditions ripe of life on the planet with intelligence to support it’s evolution process. Over time, the sun had conditions ripe enough on Earth to support its devolution to take form and space.

So when the seed essence of the Sun came down to earth and man was created, it had the ability to create after it’s own! That’s why is man continues to put it’s life force energy and dna into things like computers.

Chapter 7: The Saving Graces of Love

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Chapter Summary:

What is the SGOL?

This chapter will outline all the ways that I made the right choices at the crossroads and show that when you make a decision based on unconditional love, you are always rewarded- even if it’s by someone else. Explain how I see that everyone can liberate and trap you, if you allow them to. Know how far to ride any one train is the key to being Saved by Love.

(refusal of the return, the magic flight, rescue from within, crossing the 2nd threshold, return, master of the two worlds, freedom to live)

The Road Back

-poverty consciouness, writing, teaching challenges, setbacks, reversal of fortune

-fear of what people think

Resurrection (climax-square) (inner crises & reorientation, revolution of awareness)

-a new personality, cleansing (x @ roberta’s)

-Ordeal is writing book by x said w/ blog & kickstart campaign

-Climax

Return w/ the Elixir (sextile) (completion, inner opportunity & excitement, renewal & reorganization

Vipassana

Explain first A-A Buddhist retreat and the dream that led me to Vipassana 8/30-Dream foreshadow

Lesson about separation in A-A community Class, Sexual Preference, Mixture

Lessons around homophobia: But also the LOVE that was felt

Similar to Eckhart Tolle Experiences with Older White males- Don, Dave & Richard,

Trip to India

o

Himalayan Institute

By this time, I was becoming more seasoned in loving without an agenda. Especially after having gone through my own break up with Hakim and deepening of heart

story about india and african spread truth all around world and their response

well people learned at same time- but they could hear panditji say it spread from India

Story about antropologist that was getting on me about Afrocentrist, then I broke down that isn’t my arguement. It’s an Afrocentric criique of White Culture and Behavior.

Living with people from all nations, going through ups and downs around perceptions, having the opportunity to do astrological consultations with people and meet karmic connections, but most of all the gain perspective from the disasterous effects of my first fall and to heal my soul. Everybody needs time to heal their soul. If we go on without doing this, we sufer. So this year in insulation and sharing with people all around the world in the panch karma program was a great opportunity for me to give what I wanted most for myself!

Healing with my Husband

See marriage notes and determine wheter to put it over here

Searching for the Other

Theta Healing, Almine, Drunvalo and Nova Scotia- Flower of Life

Chapter 6: The Struggle

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Chapter Summary:

What is The Struggle?

Tests, Allies, Enemies (Talents Requiring Cultivation) (trine)

Eternal Trails/ Facing the Shadow (Approaching the Inmost Cave) (inconjunct/opposition

Supreme Ordeals (opposition/inconjunct)

Rewards/ Ultimate Treasures (Seizing the Sword) (trine)

And what is the struggle? it’s always a case of holding onto love, despite what outside appearances are showing you. In my case it had to do with all my opposites. Elders/Olders (family and society) to my Younger. Male to my Female (first love experiences) and White to my Black. These things usually happen in cycles to see if we really have learned our lessons and that is why astrology is so important.

As a youth, and a eight of clubs I didn’t grow up thinking elders had it all together. I saw them as immature, getting in the way of my progress, fighting and complaining leaving no good role model and bruised and hurt by this. I guess most elders looked at me as needing direction, disrespectful, not understood, and the cause of their pain and broken heart. Isn’t that ironic?

Unlike a lot of women I didn’t grow up thinking men were superior, GOD the most powerful sex. Instead, I thought them driven by their ego, only thinking about sex, xyz. I guess the same was men looked at me as a woman as inferior, lower intellegence, the cause of man’s fall, to be controlled, etc. Isn’t that ironic?

Unlike a lot of older generation and church going and mind taken Black folks, I didn’t grow up think white people were alright. I thought them deformed, a mutant, an apparation, spiritual inept. I guess the same way many whites looked at me as black as a monkey, inferior, lower natured and ignorant. Isn’t that ironic?

The struggle to love my elders

Parents

Teachers and Leaders- source of my greatest pain

college and alkebu-lan sisters

working at metaphyical bookstore

ausar auset society and research

Giving up my Art in the Name of Revolution

The struggle to love males

Being a Female concerned with the things Power and Love. It was through males that I learned how to not make the love of power be more important than the power of love. And yet and still this is the journey we all take., I learned via men how to act with mine. Being a woman concerned with love I learned how to do so more unconditional with men. These things usually happen in cycles to see if we really have learned our lessons and that is why astrology is so important

First Fool- I was intimate-4 F’s

First Love-Choosing Self

First Financal Entrapment

Explain the choices women make to settle. For finances, for persistence, for anything but the passion of true love.

First Infactuation

learned that I attracted men that couldn’t commit, because I wasn’t fully committed to me and growing my power to give love and not just receive love. My higher destinu

If I would have known what I know now, maybe we would have had a chance, maybe not. But everytime I learned to love unconditionally and from the heart with wisdom and intellegence, I grew stronger

First Marriage?

up to this point a virgin and the first time wasn’t great. Too many expectations. But like X says in the matrix everybody falls the first time. For the first time the Sagg. who genrally doesn’t like ugly. thinking fighting is below her, learned how to embrace it with a venagance. This was a necessary part in my development. Here you have the Lion and his pride and the Queen bee and her drones analogy. Although we were attracted to each other’s strength, there is no way you make a lion a drone and a queen bee and pride member. So this is the process of mas. and fem. principles finding balance. And everyone falls the first time. It’s just important to hold onto love, because whatever we do out of that broke heart (especially when children are involved) causes repercussions that can last a lifetime. This is a shout out to all my brothers and sisters that chose to let love go, it’s not too late to return to love, because it is your essential nature.

The struggle to love whites

Jeff story

Florence Story (after being with Afrocentrics)

remember the first effects of hate in body

IICD story

story of Ann’s experience & whites feelings about history

exposed to Ashra Kwesi and Dr. Ani & their response

Politician card keep choosing until I learned to accept them

Astrological Institute

University of Creation Spirituality

many issues with race before I got there

what happened when I got there

my refusal to be the token black (Alex Gray and MLK event coordination)

Experience planning Women’s Event

Attitudinal Healing: Aeeshah/ Mariann Williamson/Couple

what they shared with me and book on racism

Himilayan Institute

Racism/Ageism: Part of AA society, was doing a research design for IICD at GSU, where Asa Hillard helped me, anyway, I was sharing my work with the group because the leader was there. He was condescending of my project, saying we already know how white folks are/ then I noticed how the rest in the group treated me/ even my roommate questioned me when they read my rd saying the cia and fbi will come looking for you/ my white classmates and teacher were annoyed by it- had to get Asa Hillard. Yet, all it was my attempt to go beyond the veil and reach the truth. I am glad I did because the experience was the beginning of a marvelous revelation and it is true that the enemy is the innerme. In every situation, whether it be race, sex, ageism. In this case,

Section 1: My Story

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“If you do not change directions, you may end up where you’re heading” -Lao Tzu

Section 1: My Story (Own Page)

“If you do not change directions, you may end up where you’re heading” -Lao Tzu
What happens if you take the right amount of wind and water with the right amount of force, heading in the right direction? The impact it can have on humanity can be great, for better or for worse. As it is for nature, so it is with us. Humans are like hurricanes. We are made up of the elemental forces of air, water, fire and earth and are affected by environmental influences. Mixed with the right influences and opportunity, you can have an Adolf Hitler or a Harriet Tubman.
A person’s psychological make up (or inner environmental influences) is based on the day and time a person is born, as well as the aspects (or inter-relationships) between the planets that influence that date. For example, a hurricane usually never happens during certain months, just as harvest for some crops usually never happens outside of certain months.
“How can you do it wrong, when you’ve already done it?”- DeBorah Bellony
A person’s outer environmental influences such as family and material opportunities, can sometimes affect the choices a person makes and thus change the course of their destiny. That is, if you believe that a person has no choice in the time, family and situation s/he is born in. In my opinion, there is a part of us that I call our “Higher Self” that already knew what it wanted to co-create and what role it would play on this world stage called Earth. Part of the game was for a part of us (our conscious mind) to forget and another part of us (our Higher Self) to help us remember what we already knew, all the while maintaining or regaining an open heart.
Stars in Alignment
What happens when you take an eumelinated child born with strong elements of water, fire and earth, a great inner strength and drive, combined with an equally strong empathic, gentle compassion for humanity, and then you put her in the back drop of a society and time where racial and gender tension has never been dealt with or assimilated? And what if she has an overwhelming amount of Scorpio energy (fire and water) all directed inward and for the Neptunian search for truth and compassion? And what if this Scorpio resourcefulness is balanced with Saggitarian gratefulness and grace? To put the icing on the cake, what if she has a mother that tells her at a young age to be “wise as a serpent and harmless as a dove” and she really takes it to heart?
What then becomes of this child’s story? How does she unfold? How does this mixture play out on the world stage? What conclusions does she make about the hand of cards she’s been given and most importantly, how does she use them? What archetypal energy does she identify with to accomplish her life’s goals? And how does she finally come to the realization that the only opponent she (or anyone else for that matter) ever had was her forgetfulness of her connection to Source and what that disconnection created by way of DNA, tribe, environment, etc. in her  life?
My Story
So here is where I begin to share my Shero’s Journey. Here is where I describe how I’ve taken inner and outer influences to mix and create a purposeful life in order to earn my wings and transcend into the goddess I already am, able to out smart my person’s enemy (or “innerme”) and allow love and my divine purpose to bring forth the healing balm, the elixir, to my Earth family- in cycles and cycles. For me, this elixir has mainly come about from me living my life choosing love when it mattered most, and now having the courage to tell my story. I pray the light my story brings to the planet will serve as a healing balm for those who hear it, and especially for those who are where I’ve been and am going. Yet in my heart of hearts I know, the most important thing is to merely share and then my work is done!
Telling Stories: Reversing the Bad Rap
It’s popular to hear in today’s culture how important it is for us to “get rid of our story.” Nobody has time to hear anyone’s story anymore. Yet if we look around, that’s all we ever see and hear. Somebody’s story. Whether it’s in a book, a movie, a play, a newspaper, a bedtime story, we are all hearing and telling stories in one way or another. Can you image life on earth if we literally got rid of all of our stories?
DML- It’s a beautiful expression
When Telling Our Story is a “Bad” Thing
In truth, there is no thing that is inherently good or bad; however, when we continually tell stories that gives no insight, no self-transformation or no personal responsibility or resolve that leads to the life we truly desire or feel is possible,  then I would categorize this as a “bad” story.  Knowing what I know, and that is we are all Divine Expressions of the Creator of All that Is, I know there is an aspect of us that will eventually manifest this destiny of divinity. We all may not get there at the same point in life  or even the same life time, yet it is enevitable that the soul progresses and transforms. For those of you who don’t believe in reincarnation, this concept can be a little unnerving, yet remember what I said in the introduction. You still have time to run for the hills.

Disruptor Philosophy in the World of Astrology

The “Real” Secret or “A Word about Secrets” (Share Ophin./ Tex-DeBorah and Virgin)
A Word about The Secret
What does the movie Secret, Hakim Bey’s The Secret of Secrets and Secret Societies all have in common?

“I am the dance- not the dancer, I’ve got to keep up with the dancer’s pace and place, based on the latest and greatest version of who s/he knows he-r/self to be. And the level of my vibratation determines which playing field I’ll exist on.
(Like ponds through, if we make it to the other side, we become anything we choose to be!)
-We can choose which dancer and what dance troop we want to dance for; however the dance is already chosen how you express it, and at what octave/decan is up to you; however you can’t change the dance.-Make mention that I plan to do a longer memoir Afraid of My Own Shadow or (CFC): Acknowledging The Self, The Struggle and the Saving Graces of Love; however, for this book, I will be covering the part of my life (mostly 13 year period 2009, Nov. 1st to Jan. 2nd, 2022) and how it relates to most important stories related to the scope of this book. (Little did I know from the time of my first Blog Campaign in 2012 talking about the 13 year Dream from Jan. 2, 1999 to 2012, it would take an additional 13 years from the time I arrived in Mexico on Nov.  1, 2009 (9 years from 2012 to 2021) for me to finally complete it!

“If you do not change directions, you may end up where you’re heading” -Lao Tzu

What happens if you take the right amount of wind and water with the right amount of force, heading in the right direction? The impact it can have on humanity can be great, for better or for worse. As it is for nature, so it is with us. Humans are like hurricanes. We are made up of the elemental forces of air, water, fire and earth and are affected by environmental influences. Mixed with the right influences and opportunity, you can have an Adolf Hitler or a Harriet Tubman.

A person’s psychological make up (or inner environmental influences) is based on the day and time a person is born, as well as the aspects (or inter-relationships) between the planets that influence that date. For example, a hurricane usually never happens during certain months, just as harvest for some crops usually never happens outside of certain months.

“How can you do it wrong, when you’ve already done it?”– DeBorah Bellony

A person’s outer environmental influences such as family and material opportunities, can sometimes affect the choices a person makes and thus change the course of their destiny. That is, if you believe that a person has no choice in the time, family and situation s/he is born in. In my opinion, there is a part of us that I call our “Higher Self” that already knew what it wanted to co-create and what role it would play on this world stage called Earth. Part of the game was for a part of us (our conscious mind) to forget and another part of us (our Higher Self) to help us remember what we already know, all the while working to maintain or regain an open heart.

Stars in Alignment

What happens when you take an eumelinated child born with strong elements of water, earth and fire, a great inner strength and drive, combined with an equally strong empathic, gentle compassion for humanity, and then you put her in the back drop of a society and time where racial and gender tension has never been dealt with or assimilated? And what if she has an overwhelming amount of Scorpio energy (fire and water) all directed inward and for the Neptunian search for truth and compassion? And what if this Scorpio resourcefulness is balanced with Saggitarian gratefulness and grace? To put the icing on the cake, what if she has a mother that tells her at a young age to be “wise as a serpent and harmless as a dove” and she really takes it to heart?

What then becomes of this child’s story? How does she unfold? How does this mixture play out on the world stage? What conclusions does she make about the hand of cards she’s been given and most importantly, how does she use them? What archetypal energy does she identify with to accomplish her life’s goals? And how does she finally come to the realization that the only opponent she (or anyone else for that matter) ever had was her forgetfulness of her connection to Source and what that disconnection created by way of DNA, tribe, environment, etc. in her  life?

My Story

So here is where I begin to share my Shero’s Journey. Here is where I describe how I’ve taken inner and outer influences to mix and create a purposeful life in order to earn my wings and transcend into the goddess I already am, able to out smart my person’s enemy (or “innerme”) and allow love and my divine purpose to bring forth the healing balm, the elixir, to my Earth family- in cycles and cycles. For me, this elixir has mainly come about from me living my life choosing love when it mattered most, and now having the courage to tell my story. I pray the light my story brings to the planet will serve as a healing balm for those who hear it, and especially for those who are where I’ve been and am going. Yet in my heart of hearts I know, the most important thing is to merely share and then my work is done!

Telling Stories: Reversing the Bad Rap

It’s popular to hear in today’s culture how important it is for us to “get rid of our story.” Nobody has time to hear anyone’s story anymore. Yet if we look around, that’s all we ever see and hear. Somebody’s story. Whether it’s in a book, a movie, a play, a newspaper, a bedtime story, we are all hearing and telling stories in one way or another. Can you image life on earth if we literally got rid of all of our stories?

DML- It’s a beautiful expression

When Telling Our Story is a “Bad” Thing

In truth, there is no thing that is inherently good or bad; however, when we continually tell stories that give no insight, no self-transformation or no personal responsibility or resolve leading to the life we truly desire or feel is possible,  then I would categorize this as a “bad” story.  Knowing what I know, and that is we are all Divine Expressions of the Creator of All That Is, I know there is an aspect of us that will eventually manifest our destiny of divinity. We all may not get there at the same point in life  or even the same life time, yet it is inevitable that the soul progresses and transforms. For those of you who don’t believe in reincarnation, this concept can be a little unnerving, yet remember what I said in the introduction. You still have time to run for the hills.

A Word about Secrets

What does the movie The Secret, the book Secret of Secrets and Secret Societies all have in common? It’s the way they all touch me….

-MOM and AMORC, (Look at the world different and who the major player are- like even in astrology and I compare myself to movies like The Boys, etc when characters all find out what role their parents play. Grant it (all I remember about R is when we were young and the food and being able to play in the plum fields when she would go to her meetings, me & my brother all underneath the sheets, pinching each other as she played those strange children’s tape, or their was the time she had us in the Junior Order in NY and staying at the fancy hotel and meeting other children around the world) Call me slow, I always attribute the Cycles of Life and Reincarnation as the two books that started my love affair with the occult, but I never attributed or conceived that my mother’s involved in things like the Solace, and being a 12th degree and furthering, etc. Everytime I think of my mother knowing all of this! I say, my momma! Shara was right, she does sit on her perch. Then, M’srah pops in my mind of a recent conversation he had about my mom.

-The good news is, (since stories of the slapping hands always kept me away from reading her…) I all the downloads and insights I’ve gotten for material of book had nothing to do with me revealing mother’s Ros. info. Finding these books and reading material (with my mom wide open) It was more of a revelation and confirmation that the world isn’t what it seems to be and that now is the time, to be validated. That my mother and I are part of a lasting legacy, and that it is my birthright. (Poem- My Life/

What I’m Sure of... there’s a whole world out there …. made up of b and w and in high and low places

What I’m not Sure of... I how noble or vile or who is noble or vile, where their knowledge stops and where my downloads begin, (Quote from Volarie? How all things are simple, once you know…)/ Fable of Heramabif.

To some people (you know who you are) the information in book is nothing new, to others of you (this is an amazing tale or nothing at all). My mission as an 8 of Clubs Ophincus World Bridger is to uphold the serpent ….

Introduction

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I. EXPLAIN RELUCTANT ASTROLOGER’S JOURNEY TO REVEALING THE MAGI MYSTERIES SERIES

Explain What this work can possibly do for astrological community…but verdict is not out yet.

Schmitz- Master of Nativity is owner of ship/ Lord of Nativity is the Steersmen of ship
Brennen- Master of Nativity is Steersmen of ship/ Lord of Nativity is owner of ship
“By looking back into the past, we can create a better astrology for the future” Chris Brennen

We can choose which dancer and what dance troop we want to dance for; however the dance is already chosen how you express it, and at what octave/decan is up to you; however you can’t change the dance.-Make mention that I plan to do a longer memoir Afraid of My Own Shadow or (CFC): Acknowledging The Self, The Struggle and the Saving Graces of Love; however, for this book, I will be covering the part of my life (mostly 13 year period 2009, Nov. 1st to Jan. 2nd, 2022) and how it relates to most important stories related to the scope of this book. (Little did I know from the time of my first Blog Campaign in 2012 talking about the 13 year Dream from Jan. 2, 1999 to 2012, it would take an additional 13 years from the time I arrived in Mexico on Nov.  1, 2009 (9 years from 2012 to 2021) for me to finally complete it!


I am the product of my Grandmother’s selfless sacrifice (mom to stay in school), mom’s courageous insight… tell story…
*Mother’s upbringing/Story/Connecting what she brought down to me
*Islands vs Suburbs- Mother saw people growing up that looked like her & named after
*Not Fitting in- dual culture

Book Ideas/Concepts:
“We came here to be played by the instrument of life.”- DB

Talk about how perfect this book concept came around in a 20 year cycle and when it started how full of bravado I was. It was all about me titles (Share some of the original titles-, etc.). Talk about my experience with BarbaraO telling me about my first silence retreat and this is when the download happens- have a section in the book (CWV & interview her about that/ Just as I will interview Hakim about my first time and our fights- and the movie with Dec. 10th date/ Then have a section to interview Kevin and the Gathering of the Masters & how we saw a star in the sky the first night we went out!)/ Was later when I went to see Robert Morning Sky did I first find out about Orion’s belt and wondering if she would be coming for me too? * Use story of when I heard Orion’s story- how it relates to Pluto the scorpion biting- plan to upset the balance (as evidence of Ophin/Scorpio- that’s why Sc has two symbols- also Chiron coming back 1970 and return- Black man’s burden!)
see how recent downloads fit-construct: 30 Days/ Dog Days

  • Use the Mayan count System and go back in your life (in book) and in history to see the correlations!
    *** From Jan. 2nd (seed splitting in two!) 1999, to Jan. 2020/21 is exactly 21 years (beginning a new 7 year cycle=Age ¾) 49 Dec. 10th Birthday (beginning a new 7 year cycle= Age 7/8) 8 Aug. 17th Birthday (beginning a new 7 year cycle= Age 1)
    *** Also look at notes from first went to Mexico June 21st to Palenque and Mayan System!- Tie This in to the Big “Why” of this Memoir: 1) The time period it will cover 2) The mystery it hopes to solve (Deciphering Magi Mysteries, dream, etc. 8 Year cycle, dog days, etc- tell it like a fabulous journey and give clues to how I started to decode, how I found out- what Roman Calendar had to do with… how things like winter season (mayan 104 day calendar)/ day of the dead, and the dog days of summer were all encoded in the Magi Cards! And not to mention all the hidden, secret meanings of the astrological glyphs and symbolism for the Creation Story in the Bible. My mind was being blown, one year at a time and during this 7 Year Period, the goal of my guides was to make me a permament believer, that I had the power to decipher this mysteries (of course with a lot of downloads/ light code transmissions at key time- which I’ll go into later) to offer this system.!

SECTION 1: The Shero’s Journey: (Explain Heroes Journey via Joseph Campbell related to AST)
Speel about Telling Stories
Speel about how I have more in common Neo-Nazi- took me awhile to see it. It was a … to get to this honest realazion. To understand how I’ve come to this realization, you have to understand my story a little better (What happens when you take ….)

Disruptor Philosophy in the World of Astrology

The “Real” Secret or “A Word about Secrets” (Share Ophin./ Tex-DeBorah and Virgin)
A Word about The Secret
What does the movie Secret, Hakim Bey’s The Secret of Secrets and Secret Societies all have in common?”I am the dance- not the dancer, I’ve got to keep up with the dancer’s pace and place, based on the latest and greatest version of who s/he knows he-r/self to be. And the level of my vibratation determines which playing field I’ll exist on.

Chp. 1: CFC: (The Self, The Struggle, and the Saving Graces of Love & Learning?) (Overview)
(relate how What AST cycles & the HJ Have In Common/ AST Cycles & the HJ-Comparing Notes relate to HJ-two 1st Heard this Kelly’s, JWG, Kelly Beard gets even more specific to focus on 1. Conjunct/ MP/OP/


“Until you are willing to be confused about what you already know, what you know will never grow bigger, better or more useful.”-Joseph Campbell

“99% of genius is knowing what is important.” -Albert Einstein

“I must create a system or be enslaved by another mans”-William Blake (In my case recover it/ in this case astrology and how we view it as being relevant)
“If you do not understand White Supremacy (Racism)-what it is, and how it works-everything else that you understand, will only confuse you.” -Neely Fuller Jr.
“There is nothing new under the Sun but there are new Suns.” -Octavia Butler
Important Planetary Cycles -! Some of the major cycles Jup/SAT. Sat Return, and DC has 13 Yr/ 7 yr.,etc.. Personal 10 Yr. Cycles But what I’ve found to be powerful or categorized my life in is over laping
Self,Struggle,SGOL (J-S: 10 year Waxing Cycle: Crises in Action)/ SGOL/Outer-InnerStruggle/The Self J-S: 10 year Waning Cycle: Crises in Consciouness)/ Allude to the (5) 10 yr. Cycles that you will name later here “The 5 Cycles of Change” List Them Here!

  • Notes: After listening to Ernst W. lecture… Saturn is what you MUST do to live on this plane (It’s what you don’t like to do) and Jupiter is what GET TO DO to really enjoy this plane (it’s what you love to do). In time and with the phases of J/S, they begin change and shift- what you didn’t like doing (respecting- as a child), you begin to love as you get older and what you used to love to bask in sun of doing, you desire it less, because over TIME adhering to Saturn’s lessons, you’ve come to appreciate more meaningful aspects of life. You begin to see how it all fits in the “circle of life” as Elton John says.
  • Note: Found out that Uranus noviles Jupiter in Scorpio, NN noviles Chiron and Chiron noviles Juno (conjunct Saturn)! April 12th/ Also Saturn/Pluto bi-quintile south node

Chp. 2: Act 1- My Story: “Jesuit Maxim Quote” (Learned about self in relation to being a spirit to being embodied and family dynamics)
Speel about Telling Stories
1970: Jup/Saturn opposition Cycle @ Birth (Waning Cycle-CIC) (DC when Displace 10D Wish Fulfilling- My Life: Squeaked here on planet with lots of energy-SGOL- However the crises of consciousness started @ 5 and maxed 8- pluto going through…)/ Product of GM’s Selfless Sacrifice and Mom’s Courageous Insight
The Self (Reviewed): West Indian Roots
The Inner Struggle:
The SGOLearning
Session(s):
Ideas for Chpts. 3-7/ C3-“The 5 Cycles of Change” Explain the (5) 10 year cycles, going into few stories from Formative & HL Yrs.; C4. Go into stories from new J-S cycle in Career Yrs.(1st as an adult); C5-6. Go into EY as first setting stage w/ spiritual significance of going to sacred sites in India, Mexico, Peru, Ven, Guat. (Drunvalo) during 2008-2011, like it prepared me for the 8 (Venus Cycle) major dips into replenishing waters of 2012 (starting w/ hurricane- Y1 (initiation) 2012 b4 Summer Solstice &Y6 (karma) 2017 dream symbolism) to 2019! C7 Go into Take Magic Flight Yrs. And what it holds in store…

Chp. 3: The Formative Years 1978-1988 (J/S conjunct-Waxing Cycle-CIA)
The Self (Renewed): Growing Up in the OC (Poems- My Life/ Brainwashed)
The Outer Struggle
The SGOLove

Session(s):
Chp. 4: Higher Learning 1988-1998 (J/S opposition-Waning Cycle-CIC) (Learned about self in relation to leaving the home & living w/ others)
The Self (Reviewed): Going to a HBCU
The Inner Struggle:
The SGOLearning

Chp. 5:Career Years 1998-2008 (J/S conjunct-Waxing Cycle-CIA)
The Self (Renewed)
The Outer Struggle
The SGOLove

Session(s):
Chp.6: Entreprenuerial Years 2008-2018 (J/S opposition-Waning Cycle-CIC) (Learned about self in relation to starting my own business)
The Self (Reviewed): Amexem Years
The Inner Struggle:
The SGOLearning

Chp. 7: Take Magic Flight: 2018-2028 (J/S conjunct-Waxing Cycle-CIA)

The Self (Renewed)Lessons Learned So Far
The Outer Struggle: Lesson Yet to Learn
The SGOL for Humanity***

*Section 2: The Bellony Theory Preparation (Notes/ Research/Etc.)

SECTION 2: The Bellony Theory
: The 5 Most Important Questions (We had the 5 Cycles of Change based on Jupiter/Saturn Cycle, now we have the 5…)
Chp. 8: Astrology & Creation Story

Session(s) :
Chp. 9: Astrology, Cardology & The Creation Theory (Cardology/ The Holy Trinity-The Foundation of Astrology)

  • Change order of Chapters to where this one comes after KWU & Melanin & Magnet
    ** Call The SYSTEM THE TRINITY CARDS –(To Honor the Original Trinity: “The 3 that is the 1 that is the None”)
    ** Incorporate Info on Saros 144 ( The book 8), etc.

The Body/ Earth= ?, The Soul/Moon(Neptune)=©?(water born of fire)/ The Spirit/Sun(Pluto)=?ª(fire born of water)/ The Mind/ Stars=?

  • Before the Heavens of Air and Water were separated: female Soul became “Enlightened” by male Spirit (? Suite=Earth) and male Spirit became “Endarkened” by female Soul (ª Suite=Heavens). It’s the Kª that holds existence together in Heaven (& Earth (fixed) and it’s the Q© that holds existence together in the Earth Plane and is the force behind the Mystic Triangle Q©/10ª/4? (4H-Birthing place of 5H Suns (Sons) that eventually rule on Earth(10H) and seed society(humanity) 11H-(Jª©). Hearts is more than water, but water enlightened by Spirit and Spades is more than fire, but fire endarkened by Soul

Wands=FireClubs/ Swords=AirSpades (brings death like the goddess Kali brings liberation: ??=Black 4 Masculine cards) Penacles=Earth Diamonds (material world-accomplishment) Cups=Water Hearts Emotions/ ??=Red 4 Feminine

Cup(hearts) and Swords(spades) Chalice & the Blade/ Ring & Scepter (Lingum & Noni)

  • Spades suit represents conception time (sperm begins his spiritual journey) and the Hearts suite represents impregation time (1st trimester) working to become 6esearch6ed. When sperm is trying to reach the ovum.

Chp. 10: The Magic Numbers 10, 7, 13

*”If you only knew the magnificence of the 3, 6 and 9 then you would have the key to the universe.” Nikola Tesla
-“In vortex Math, 3, 6, and 9 has the highest frequency and vibration that governed the physical world at the quantum level.”
“If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration.”
“The penetration of the mystery is what is referred to as initiation.”- Valum Votan

Session(s):
Chp. 11: WS-Why it Hasn’t Been Healed & How it Can Be Healed
Chp. 12: Knowledge, Wisdom and Understanding

Session(s):
Chp. 13: Melanin and Magnetism
Chp. 14: Serving as Proxy-An Avatar Analogy

“Attitude is chemistry in the body.”
“This is why we have to change our attitude about light. If you have an adverse attitude toward melanin, you have an adverse attitude toward light.”
If you have an adverse, very narrow, limited attitude toward melanin, you have a very limited, narrow, restricted attitude toward light.”
-Dr. Jewel Poolkrum
“If I’m called to drive people to the light, I need to meet them in the dark.” (Malcolm X Book)
“I am no longer afraid to lose you for I have finally found me.”

SECTION 3: Afraid Of Our Own Shadow
<* Black Shadow is Elder’s not wanting to die & leave it to next generation & White Shadow is Youth not Wanting to Grow up and take Responsibility!>
Chp. 15: The Black Shadow

Session(s):
Chp. 16: The White Shadow:
The idea of Aryian race wanting to be kept pure is equivalent to Peter Pan, never wanting to grow old. The fact is, black and white are NOT in the rainbow-they begin and end a cycle. When either one Black in days of Khemit-wanted to keep it pure or later with Aryans- there comes a time when everything must change!

SECTION 4: 7 Steps to Conscious Co-Creation
The Law of Seven
(Make This a subtitle in Section 4 (7 Steps & Give the back drop with POV publication!)

Concepts to Research

  • Research Islam’s love of # 19 (see BM of website)

Concepts to Incorporate

  • Idea: Star Trek Discovery Analogy: DNA passes down from mother to Michael; Michael is an angel and her Ship is a crew of Elohim & they come through the wormhole=womb on incarnation (had to find her tribe)/ This is all “planetary” symbolism that serves as “parentary” symbolism
    (This can be in a Youtube Series vs the Book for copy rights)

13- I AM Seeding
2- I Am Providing a Foundation for my
3- I Am Creatively Expressing my
4- I Am Nurturing (PreBirthing) my
5- I Am Shining/ Being Reborn in my
6- I Am Perfecting/ Serving in my
7- I Am Balanced in my
8- I Am Powerful in my
10- I Am Sovergein in my… ? Emotions ?Thinking and Beliefs ? Values and Self Worth ª Actions and Will
11- I Am Initiating?/ Seeding/ Awakening my seed of
12- I Am Housing _ & Serving Others with my

13- I Am Mastering/ Providing/Sustaining the Prototype of __ with my

Although the definition of the word can be nuanced, narrative generally refers to the big, overarching stories that result from the amalgamation of smaller stories. As the Narrative Initiative puts it: “What tiles are to mosaics, stories are to narratives.”

the Jyotish tradition that I am beginning to be shown it is so interesting how one has to have certain prerequisites prior to be even invited into the learning experience.It really reminds me of the levels of not just Astrology, but life.
I say that to say, you can understand all the techniques you want, you can gather all the information you desire, and if you’re not a living, breathing, human, grounded in an understanding of reality, then your practice will be limited. You will be of service indeed and yet, the soul and essence of things that life is about will not be accessed in depth.
I only sit here in reflection as I am allowing myself to be as life is again, an emergent being in process.
I received information today that was really cool about the houses in Astrology and how they simply echo everything else in reality. Like the idea that, “everything is everything” is honestly true and people often say that with no relationship to it or they brush it off as “woo” talk.
Anyway, just wanted to share how the houses echo atoms.
So, the angles. They were once called pivots. Well, it just so happens that within the atom, neutrons have a 0/neutral charge and hold shit together. So what about protons and electron?? Well, protons are positive charges that are held together in place by the neutrons, so that’s pretty obvious that they would be succedent houses. Now electrons, this is interesting because electrons are a negative force. And ALWAYS, on an energetic level things that are, negative, dark, not visible get discredited in our society due to a lack of understanding. I say that to say that electrons are the cadent houses. And electrons “fall away” from the center of the atom although they don’t go away to the point that they aren’t a part of the atom. The number of protons and electrons are the same. All held together by the neutrons which are the “pivot” and act like a stake post. So the way I experienced that in consciousness is that the material nature of succedent houses and the more subtle nature of the cadent houses actually have a very in depth relationship in which people overlook because they can’t see it. Which is totally fine, I am just in meditation and desired to share this with you all. Lots more to say but I will save that for my personal journal.
Another thing I will say is that people try to shit on the “natural zodiac” in which many also call “the 12 letter alphabet” yet they don’t see the unending patterns in reality and that always has confused me because even if you look at the houses on an underlying energetic level cardinal, fixed, and mutable are the same principles as angular, succedent, and cadent. These 3 principles are endless in life.
We can think of the 3 body constitutions of Ayurveda, Pitta, Kapha, and Vata. Also mesomorph, endomorph, and ectomorph are body types that would in essence be the same. If people could just tune into the underlying patterns then so many things could be resolved.
Anyway, I also want ya’ll to know that cadent houses are heavily the houses of “what you think you create”. Remember, subtle isn’t the same as “weak”.
(Also, what I am saying is based much more in natal Astrology, if you’re practicing locational, horary, or doing timing techniques, use your techniques and have discernment in your craft to know when things are applicable

Elmina Bell

This too has been my experience, I came to Vedic this year finding that it validates so many things I was already thinking about, especially with the nakshatras, and their different takes of the noses, and that though they have exaltation and fall, the concept of detriment is not rlly a thing, it’s seen as complementary.
I also don’t see the cadent houses in the same way others do. The falling down energy reminds me of liminal/spiritual hum in the background that vibrationally maintains everything. It’s presence is inherent. The falling down energy reminds me if the downward triangle on the Star of David that indicates spiritual support pushing a person, and “feminine”/lunar/receptive energy. You don’t always see it but it’s a powerful guiding force. I have to sit with the atom thing, I think it makes sense though.

Egyptian farmers divided their year into three seasons, based on the cycles of the Nile River:
· Akhet – the inundation (June-September): The Flooding Season. No farming was done at this time, as all the fields were flooded. …
· Peret (October-February): The Growing Season. …
· Shemu (March-May): The Harvesting Season.
The ancient Egyptian calendar – a civil calendar – was a solar calendar with a 365-day year. The year consisted of three seasons of 120 days each, plus an intercalary month of five epagomenal days treated as outside of the year proper. … Each month was divided into three 10-day periods known as decans or decades.

13 months in a year
There are many cultures around the world that have and follow their own calendars, which is exactly not the same as the Western Gregorian calendar. However, despite that, they abide by the rule of 12 months a year. An Ethiopian year is comprised of 13 months, and is seven years behind the Gregorian calendar. In fact, Ethiopians celebrated the new millennium on September 11, 2007; this is because the Ethiopians continued with the same calendar that the Roman church amended in 525 AD.
While the first 12 months have 30 days, the last month, called Pagume, has five days and six days in a leap year.Till date, Ethiopia uses its ancient calendar, which hardly creates any inconvenience for travellers because of the calendar difference. However, most Ethiopians these days are now aware of the Gregorian calendar, and some even use both calendars interchangeably. Ethiopia, being one of the few countries in the world, still uses its own calendar system. The country celebrates some important holidays on days that are different from the rest of the world. Diwali is called the Festival of Lights and is celebrated to honor Rama-chandra, the seventh avatar (incarnation of the god Vishnu). It is believed that on this day Rama returned to his people after 14 years of exile during which he fought and won a battle against the demons and the demon king, Ravana.

Dedication

By admin Posted in Introduction Leave a reply

This book is dedicated to the loving memories of Jamilah Maat Nation, Jahi Omari and Dr. Asa G. Hillard, all of which, oddly enough, either worked and/or attended Georgia State University, my alma mater. And all of which whose life, living and manner of death had a major impact in my life. I also want to acknowledge the contributions of Dr. Ivan Van Sertima and Dr. Richard King, both of whom have made their transition not too long ago. Dr. Sertima for his work on the African presence in Mexico, where I currently live part-time and Dr. King for his work and research on melanin. May they all rest in peace and in the knowing that they are loved.

-Book is dedicated to Jeffery WG: Another reluctant astrologer whose work and manner of accepting the call (who by not refusing the call) has made a difference in the lives of so many astrologers. I can only hope to effect…

-Linda Johnson (Evolutionary Astrologer behind EA Zoom Meetings)

-To the live of Harriet Tubman and the Moors and Secret Societies that assisted her. Having no knowledge of ….

-To Noble Drew Ali America’s homegrown prophet …..

-Robert Camp/ Ernst W

Chapter 5: The Self

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Chapter Summary:

What is The Self?

Explain the difference between the True Essence Self and the Person, Identified with Form and Fear. Explain who my true self was (absent of interference), then describe my person and who it became as a result of walking in two worlds (white world and black world and the need to integrate them together=with love)

 

Ordinary World

-b-ball and school/ before my first love

 

Call to Adventure (conjunct)

-Alkebu-lan Sisters/ Kenny

 

Refusal of the Call (semi-sextile)

-Started to channel writing in college but I was afraid.

-Kenny & break up and choosing me first (letter)

 

Meeting with the Mentor/Supernatural Aid (sextile)

-many serendip Teachers (Charle Conley, Mario, Muslim Friend, etc.) Had the ability to keep out of mess that relationships brought (Camaroon Guy) and my virginity kept me out of a lot of would-be trouble.

 

Crossing the 1st Threshold (square)

 

 

 

 

As A Infinite Being

Enlightenment Experience-Understanding that god-ring and walking around with notebook

Astrology/ Destiny Cards

Thothetics

As A Black Avatar

Ashra Kwesi’s tapes, but couldn’t vibe with the anger lead me to

Grist for the Mill/ Ausar Auset Society

As A Woman Avatar

Voices from the Great Mother- scared! Wanted to fit in to Male patriarch

Virgin and feeling different to everyone else

Metaphysics: Hotema

Clarissa-WWWW

Include letter I wrote